A Potentially Negative Effect of Divorce on Children

by Attorney Ghenete Wright Muir

Parental alienation describes the behavior of one parent making repeated negative statements about the other parent as well as obstructing the other parent’s visitation. This process is painful for the alienated parent and, is both harmful and traumatic for the child.  

All too often children pay a price when their parents get separated or divorced!

Although it may be challenging for some separating families, it is critical that parents have a cordial relationship both during the divorce and during the years following the divorce.  Each parent should understand that the child(ren) is able to love both parents simultaneously and needs to have a relationship with each parent. Thus, parents should help foster those relationships between parent and child.

Jurisdictions throughout the Nation have worked towards protecting children and encouraging parents to make decisions based on what is in the best interest of the child. “Best interest of the child” is in fact the standard that most courts use when making decisions that involve children.

In Florida, divorcing parents are required to take a parenting class which provides information on how to assist children through the difficult process of divorce.  Florida encourages parents to raise children together. As such, generally, parents are given shared parental responsibility because it is generally in the best interest of the child to have both parents involved and sharing in decision-making for the child. Courts will deviate from awarding shared parental responsibility if it is determined that such an arrangement would not be in the best interest of the child. In addition to decision-making, the courts encourage both parents to spend time with the child.  Typically one parent’s home is determined the child’s primary residence, where the child spends most of the time, and the other parent is generally granted frequent and liberal visitation.

With all these protections in place, children still become pawns or bargaining tools by divorcing parents. Because of circumstances that influenced the severed relationship, parents often lose sight of what is the children’s best interest when in the midst of a divorce. Critical things to keep in mind are:

1. Do not share the details of disputes with children. The explanation of the divorce should not allow children to think they are the cause of the troubles nor to think they need to choose a side. It is best if children are helped to understand that the problems are related to the unresolved relationship issues of the adults.

2. It is not in the best interest of the child to be kept away from a parent because child support has not been paid. Florida law forbids limiting visitation because of the other parent’s failure to pay child support as well as forbids withholding support payments because of disputes with visitation.

3. Do not speak negatively about the former spouse. Derogative comments about a child’s parents have been found to harm the self-esteem of the child. Even body language, such as rolling your eyes, can send a negative message to a child.

For consultation, contact the Wright Muir Law Firm at (954) 318-7220, www.wrightmuir.com or send an email to the attorneys at info@wrightmuir.com

Our office is located at: 440 Sawgrass Corporate Pkwy., Suite 100, Sunrise, FL 33325